I am one of your followers on social media. To know your website I have read so many of your articles and I feel encouraged every day and that’s why today I have found a friend in you. I have accepted the fact that I can’t make it alone. This has come to me after reading the article to do with how to deal with a spouse. I loosed my husband six months ago after he fought with cancer for a long. His last days he was admitted at Agha khan hospital in Nairobi where I used to go every morning after preparing my kids to go to school. Any time I saw him in that sickbed it broke my heart as he was on the final stage and we well knew that he would not make it, but there is this doctor who was attending to him. To me, I saw as if he was heavenly sent as he used to encourage me and would always tell me how he loosed his wife from the same disease leaving behind 3 kids. Since then he had been able to fight all this and he is able to raise his kids. After two months my husband passed and the same man became more concerned and always on call to know how I was and how I was holding up due to stress. Even before I buried my husband I slept with the man as I thought this would make me feel better and this became the norm and now it was even outings. That’s after my husband’s burial. My kids now knew him as an uncle I felt good and it was helping me forget what I was going through until one morning I received a call it was a lady who told me “ your message to Andrew yesterday was so sweet, but do you know that he is married and he is a father of three?” I was shocked but I decided to cooperate as I hate dramas. I told her everything that I was told even the fact that I was told that she died of cancer. I thought that was all. I called the guy and after I told him of my knowing that he is a married man, he told me to leave him alone and called me a home breaker. Now it has become a norm every time they fight she always thinks am the cause and insults me and just a few days she went to extent of posting me in one of the well-known Facebook group called Killimani mums. I see this post daily and read all the insults and it’s killing me. I am unable to concentrate on my role as a mother and my work. Please help and advise on what to do.
I am sorry for the loss of your husband and am sorry for what you are going through, I can’t blame you for what you did despite the fact that we both know that what you did was wrong. You didn’t give yourself some time to recover from the loss of your husband and time to grieve. All you should know is that he is gone and he is not coming back. At the same time the man you thought that will be there for you has turned out to be a trickster and the fact remains that if he did this to you he is still doing the same to others. You can’t sit and blame yourself for what happened as the kids are looking upon you and you have to be strong for them to have someone they will look upon for them to also recover from the loss of their dad.
Cyberbullying is a criminal offense and you should not let anybody harass you. You opened up to her and told her about how you thought that she was dead and now here she is harassing you by all means. If she continues you should report for the law to take its course.
Before you make a decision to move on again take time.
All the best.